Dirty Little Secret
by youn2731
Summary: Buffy faces more disappointment by a loved one. Drabble of a Buffy/Samantha Carter pairing.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anyone. I wish I did because then I could make them do whatever I wanted and still make a profit. But it's probably for the best because wouldn't that be considered slavery?**

**AN: This just a little idea that flitted through my head and I had to let it out.**

**Pairing: Buffy/Samantha Carter**

"You're late."

Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter looked up to see Buffy waiting for her with a glare on her face. She winced. Tonight was supposed to be a special night planned out. Sam was supposed to finally meet Buffy's family and friends. That had been a while ago and now it was close to midnight. There had been an emergency at the base and it had delayed Sam's departure for several hours, but it couldn't be avoided since it had to do with national security.

"I'm sorry, honey. Something came up." Sam apologized. She went to hug Buffy, but Buffy stepped back and turned her shoulder.

"It's always something with you, isn't it? God! Couldn't someone else take care of it? You know how much I wanted you to meet my family." Buffy ranted. She and Sam had met a few months ago when Buffy had been in town hunting some demon. She ended up saving Sam from a vampire one night. They had introduced themselves and to Buffy's surprise, they hit it off. She had actually fallen hard for Sam's beautiful face and brilliant mind that very night. A week later, Buffy moved to Colorado Springs to be with Sam. Her only reservation was the fact that Sam was in the military and involved in a secret government project. Those kind of things brought back bad memories. Not to mention that being gay in the military wasn't exactly approved of. It made things more difficult for Buffy and Sam to be together. To say her family was shocked, would be a severe understatement.

"Buffy, you know I can't tell you what happened, but believe me when I say that I was the only one who could've dealt with what happened. I'm really sorry." Sam said contritely. Deep down, she wasn't so sure. Yes, she loved Buffy, but was she ready for anyone to know about them? Unlike Buffy, she had to be more realistic about their relationship. The more people who knew about her, the more her career would be in jeopardy, especially with organizations like the Trust and IOA out there, keeping tabs on the SGC. She wasn't sure if she was quite ready to give everything up yet.

"I know. It's just that you promised you'd be here, and all of my friends were waiting to meet you. This is a huge step for me. First of all, I'm actually in a steady, healthy, somewhat normal relationship gives them cause to be shocked. Let's not even go into how speechless they were when I told them I was involved with you, a woman. I've always been with men. Me, all of a sudden being gay was not something they took very lightly. They also know you're in the military which makes them even more curious to meet you since they know how I feel about the military." Buffy sighed defeatedly.

"This isn't exactly easy for me either, Buffy. Please don't be mad. I love you." Sam moved towards Buffy and put her arms around her girlfriend. She loved being taller than Buffy. She could easily rest her chin on Buffy's shoulder and nibble her ear. It was one of Sam's favorite things to do. Sam nuzzled Buffy's neck lovingly.

"Let me make it up to you, baby." Sam planted small kisses along Buffy's jaw. She was trying to distract Buffy and could tell it was working. She could feel the tension ease up in her lover. Buffy turned around and gave Sam a hard kiss, pouring out her frustrations. Their tongues battled for dominance, swirling around each other. The kiss ended when both women ran out of air, leaving them breathing harshly at one another. "C'mon, let's take this into your bedroom." Sam grabbed Buffy's hand and led her away.

They made love, both needy and demanding of each other. They worshipped each other's bodies for hours before giving in to exhaustion, falling asleep in one another's arms.

* * *

Sam woke up a few hours later and quickly got out of the bed. She moved around the room and gathered up her clothes.

"Where are you going?" Buffy asked sleepily. Then she straightened up when she noticed Sam was getting dressed, the sheets keeping her chest covered. "Are you leaving?"

"Um. Yea, I need to get home and shower before work." Sam cringed inwardly. She had hoped to sneak out of there without Buffy waking up. She should have remembered slayer reflexes.

"Oh." Buffy's face looked slightly crestfallen, making Sam feel bad instantly. Then Buffy quickly replaced it with an unreadable expression. "Be honest. Do you ever intend to meet my friends? Or at least have me meet yours, just as your friend?" Buffy asked.

Sam took a deep breath before she could give Buffy an answer. "Honestly, I don't know. It might be better if no one knows about us."

"So what am I? Your dirty little secret?" Buffy asked coldly. She wrapped her arms around herself, as if it would protect her.

"No!" Sam protested weakly. When it came down to it, that's exactly what she was asking of Buffy. "Buffy, you know I love you."

"I love you too, but maybe it's not enough." Buffy said sadly. Sam went to comfort her, but Buffy pushed her away. "No, don't." Sam raised her hands up in defeat.

"Maybe it's not. What does this mean for us?" Sam was scared of losing Buffy, but she didn't know how to fix this.

"I'm not sure. I don't want to break up, but I don't know if I can take the secrecy. I've been there before and it didn't end well." Buffy sighed. Can we say Spike?

"I'm sorry." Sam said. It seemed like all she ever did was apologize.

"Don't be. I should have known better." Buffy looked away. "I'm the one who is sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Sam asked. Buffy turned back and looked Sam directly in the eyes.

"Because in the end, I'm always alone."


End file.
